Getting Skinny for Ballet

Long Overdue Update

Fri, 24 May 2013 15:02:38 -0400

Last fall I was in a theater production at school and one of the guys in the cast I thought was nice and cute but we didn’t spend a lot of time getting to know each other. He was a featured role and I was chorus. But he had some really great raw dance talent so everyone convinced him to take jazz in the spring, which he did.

I was in the jazz class with him and we got to do a lot of partnering work and it was an excuse to spend time together and get to know him better and I started to really like him. I was graduating though and he was a year younger so I figured nothing would happen.

We ended up hanging out with each other a lot and spending time in groups at the bars and he walked me home a couple of times with nothing happening. Then, a week before school was over he walked me home and kissed me. After that we spent time with each other every day. He held my hand and kissed me in public so it wasn’t just a hook up kind of thing and everything was so easy. I haven’t felt this way around anybody EVER. It was so comfortable. I wasn’t concerned about my weight or how I looked and he made me feel so safe and cared for. He was so strong. I could just look at him and smile and all my other cares disappeared.

We have both left school now and he is home and I have moved to the other side of the state. We talk every day, all day back and forth. I can’t let him go. Things with him felt too right. But I also no it doesn’t make sense to do long distance based on one amazing week.

I am so confused. I miss him. I miss him a lot. I constantly think about him. But I know I can’t have him. This is a terrible feeling. No one has ever made me feel this way. I have loved and I have dated and I have had crushes but never before has being with someone been so easy.

I am afraid if I let this go I will never experience this again. I spent the last 4 years of school hoping to find someone I liked. I dated someone for less than a month who really liked me but I didn’t feel as strongly towards him and we had absolutely nothing in common but I did it just because it was nice to feel liked. But now I know how amazing something can be. How easy it should be, how comfortable it should be. I could laugh, I could smile, I even cried and I was never self conscious. I just want to be with him.

Part of me thinks I am crazy. How can I feel like this after spending just a week with him. On the other hand when you know something feels right it feels right. And it feels right to be with him and feels wrong to let him go.

I don’t know what to do. Can anybody help???

hey, maybe you just gained muscle

Thu, 14 Feb 2013 01:33:23 -0500

Well that would be nice. Except not. I gained fat I have a scale that gives me my bf%.

Today was terrible

Wed, 13 Feb 2013 02:05:06 -0500

I gained weight like 3 lbs! And its part fat and I ripped a pair of jeans! I don’t know what is wrong with me! I am dancing a ton. I am going to the gym a ton and I am eating really healthy. I am being careful to eat enough protein and all that good stuff since I am doing so much but I am just not losing weight. This is so frustrating. I just want to curl up into a ball. I am huge and fat.

I want to submit a video audition for a dance job but I can’t if I continue down this path of fat and pathetic I will never be hired.

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Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:52:46 -0500

sexnoise: :/ I just want this.

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:43:25 -0500

sexnoise:

:/

I just want this.

Nobody Wants Me

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:33:29 -0500

I am so tired of feeling alone. Nobody wants to be with me. I’m so tired of that. Like there is literally no hope for me at this point. I just want someone to are about me and spend time with me and like me and like being with me. I have tried not looking I have tried looking I have tried not caring and I have tried caring too much. I tried being ok with being single and it is to the point where I am just plain tired of it. I want someone to be with. I just desire that companionship. I feel pathetic. Does anyone have any advice for me?

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Mon, 04 Feb 2013 19:39:23 -0500

whatstheenpointe: hey http://p-ointeshoes.tumblr.com/ .. i love...

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 19:37:03 -0500

whatstheenpointe:

hey http://p-ointeshoes.tumblr.com/ .. i love your blog. i hope you get a gazillion followers. :)

theyoungdancersblog: club dance studio (:

Sun, 03 Feb 2013 18:03:55 -0500

theyoungdancersblog:

club dance studio (:

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Sun, 03 Feb 2013 14:41:34 -0500

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Sun, 03 Feb 2013 14:39:47 -0500

Proud

Wed, 30 Jan 2013 02:29:54 -0500

I am really proud of myself! I am eating great which is giving me energy, keeping my attitude and modd positive, and keeping me healthy. I am aslo dancing a ton this semester! I have at least 4 hours a day and that will only be increasing once rehearsals kick in in the next couple of weeks! On top of that I have been going to the gym 3-4 times a week and I have gotten up to 4.5 miles!

With all of that I am really starting to see the shape of my body transform and it has only been a couple weeks. I would really like to start seeing a few pounds drop of but for now I’m really please with how I look and feel. My stomach feels flatter, my legs are leaner, and I’m stronger.

On Monday a girl in one of my classes looked at me and commented on how strong my legs are and how “ripped” I was. This was the greatest!

This is motivation to keep it up :)

burgit: Den Norske Ballettskolen What?

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 00:54:59 -0500

burgit:

Den Norske Ballettskolen

What?

skinny-fit-freak: FAV.

Sat, 26 Jan 2013 02:21:31 -0500

skinny-fit-freak:

FAV.

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Fri, 25 Jan 2013 20:39:10 -0500

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Tue, 22 Jan 2013 00:50:57 -0500

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste...

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 04:44:08 -0500

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; Love shouldn’t be one of them.”

— Dream for an Insomniac

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Wed, 16 Jan 2013 02:15:35 -0500

wow. you're blog is everything I want. everything. how long have you been dancing for?

Mon, 14 Jan 2013 13:50:54 -0500

I have been dancing for 17 years.

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Mon, 14 Jan 2013 04:07:25 -0500