Posts tagged heart
Posts tagged heart
I have been friends with him since my freshman year of high school he is now a senior in college and I am a junior in college. I would not be where I am today without him. He knows everything. And I am pretty sure I love him. I want to talk to him all the time but I don’t get to talk to him too much we live really far apart but when I do I don’t want to conversation to end.
The thought of being away from him forever terrifies me but its a real possibility since he has a job after graduation lined up where he goes to school which is on the opposite side of the country. He also doesn’t come home very often and when he does I do my best to see him as much as possible.
We have always been just friends even though I am fairly sure he had a crush on me when I was a freshman but I never knew for sure.
I want to tell him that I don’t know what I would do without him and that I think I care about him more than just a friend but I would probably just ruin things. What do I do? Do I say anything? What do I say? What if he feels the same? We can’t really do anything about it I don’t even know the next time I will see him.
I hate feeling so alone. I am so tired of being single and not having anyone to share things with. I miss that. I miss having a best best friend someone I could tell anything to. I miss having someone to hold my hand and wrap his arms around me and kiss my neck. I hate this so much.
And it gets even worse in that I know its my fault. I am quiet and shy and reserved and I don’t even talk to guys. I have all girls for friends and it sucks. I just want someone to love me…I need someone to love me not having that sucks.
I have always been caught up in not knowing how to do things and this is still the case. I don’t know how I am supposed to meet guys. I don’t know I just get so worried about what everyone thinks of me. I want a relationship so badly but I don’t know how to get there. I try telling myself that it will happen when its supposed to but I am getting really tired of waiting and its tearing me apart.
If anyone knows what to do or has any advice I need it. I am feeling really down about this. I just want this more then anything. I want someone to fall in love with me and me fall in love with them.
Gosh I hate this feeling.